Mr. Ben photos and fans

If perchance you find true love, hold on tight. Never give love up for some lesser goal, but always press on and love despite all odds.

2011-09-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

Love is so difficult to come by and so easily taken advantage of. Where love is found, so too is malicious evil, working hard to make waste of beauty.

2011-09-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Evolution Happens

2011-07-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Just not the way you're thinking. The common misconception is that if one type of evolution happens, then of course the entire universe must have evolved from nothing. The theory of evolution is comprised of multiple different facets which needn't all be true just because one is. Everything must have it's own path of evolution to turn out the way it has. Every instance of an observed proof of evolution is either a grossly disfiguring mutation or something called micro-evolution which is described as minor changes within the species. The misconception stems from accepting these as proofs of macro-evolution [which is the origin of all life on earth from one singular ancestor]. Basically, people buy into a lie that says, 'a dog and a wolf are related- so every living organism on earth must be descended from the equivalent of pond scum.' In contrast, micro-evolution appears to be little more than breeding. In fact micro-evolution is not only compatible to the Christian worldview but indeed also necessary. In the story of Noah's Ark, in the Bible, God says:

Genesis 6:19 "And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female."

Notice that God did not command Noah to take two of every species, but two of every sort. Current estimates of the total number of species on Earth range from 5 to 30 million, certainly more than Noah would have been able to fit on his 300x 50x 30 cubit ark, as big as it was. A man named John Woodmorappe, after a comprehensive study, speculated that there are approximately 8,000 kinds of animals which were brought onto the ark that bred into the many variations of species we have today.

Christianity demands us to accept the facts and while Noah certainly might have brought two dogs on board, he couldn't possibly have made room for every type of dog from Arctic wolves to chiwawas along with every other species.

Inversely, the Bible also requires that we do not believe much of the rest of the theory evolution. The theory in many ways, in fact most ways, does not align with Christianity so smoothly. Creation in particular causes a rift. Genesis 1:11-13 declares that the Earth was already inhabited by plants on the third day but the sun and the moon and all of the stars were not created till the fourth day. Creation is riddled with disagreements and scuffles on either side but these verses show that there is no middle ground. The earth cannot have been created in the big bang or in any process of Godless evolution with the rest of the universe; if you are to believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God.

In closing, evidence of micro-evolution is in fact the same evidence that Darwin gathered and released in his book 'The Origin of the Species'. Note the word species because that is where Darwin stumbled. Viewing minor changes within species as part of a larger evolutionary picture was a catastrophic mistake. In grouping micro-evolution with macro-evolution and releasing his findings he acted as a catalyst not only for the continual speculation of a Godless world but for a culture of evolution science.

Words that will never be read

2011-06-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Because of my lack of ingenuity and the rarity of the circumstances in which creativity is bred, I do not write in my blog as often as I would like. I can't expect the reader to find so much in my few words as to keep them entertained for months or years on end with the same old material. No mattter how colorful when first posted, all becomes dull through monotony. When eventually I get bored with my own words, this post, like all the others will be deleted and their memories will be flushed away by new posts. Posibly picture posts, the horror. As much as I enjoy the brilliance of a good photographer words will never be replaced by pictures, I don't care how many words you think a picture is worth. Perhaphs I should take up a political tangent? Recently I've been listening to the news, attempting to educate myself on world events as I now have become a man (or so voting law decrees..) I sometimes fantasize about writing a political blog that thousands of people read, but alas perhaphs that is not a dream for me.

ADVENTURE TIME!

2011-06-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

Tattoos That I Have Done

2011-06-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

Pain Conceded: A savage definition of my pained soul

2010-10-22T13:25:00.001-07:00

I feel bad. I cant help but continue to disappoint this girl I love. I'm not perfect, she is, but I'm not. I cant do any better than this, I'm only human. I'm apathetic to whats going on here, but somehow the raw emotions leak through my facade. I'm a monster, even these words are coated to deceive and hurt. How do I redeem myself when I feel this way? How do I save myself before I fade away? Soon nothing will be left of me but her memories, a distorted misrepresentation of my own twisted moral failings. If only she didn't love me so much she could save herself from this agony. She is so kind and caring.

How did we get here?

It starts with a twinkle, and a wink which falls into grin. The wolf in my soul is at work doing things I never could, he whispers and lies. The wolf flits at the edges of the story, always hiding on the next page. I don't mind, Rumpelstiltskin asks for my future, I grant it to him for the assurance of my present. Nothing matters but the face of the pretty girl in front of me.

Things quickly decay from the paradise he promises me to reality.

It's pathetic really, I'll grant you that. The way I moan and cry. It's all to get what I want, don't give it to me. I'm just a child who wants his Toy. Don't objectify yourself by being my toy. Don't apologize, they always say that they are sorry. Sorry for what? I'm the one crying and moaning. I'm the child, we both know this, but you have a tender heart.

This clear indifference that consumes me and makes me numb, does so like a fire. Once under its impression, one is not so easily untangled. The more she says to quiet me, the more fuel I have to build my tears. If you love me, why wont you hurt me like I ask you to? Shouldn't I know whats best for myself? Give me my poison. Let me writhe in my selfish triumph. I would grasp it like a king would bask in his merited glory.

Let my perverted logic prevail.

As I think these words I know I'm wrong. I know shes right. I know she knows whats best. I ultimately do know whats best for me, though I find difficulty in admitting it. Whats best for me, is her. God placed her in my life. I come to this evident truth every time my mind wanders into the dark. God will redeem me. He will uphold me with his victorious right hand. That's what my name means, Benjamin: son of his right hand.

I will be upheld.

Hannah will stand beside me, and I beside her, and both of us in Christ.

Amen: let it be done.

I Prefer To Make My Life Extraordinary

2010-09-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

My name is Benjamin Joel Schuster. I like to consider myself unique. I don’t find myself brilliant, although neither do I find myself dull. However, I do pride myself on being separate from the majority of the populace in my tastes and actions. I understand the need for systems and uniformity but unless I am thoroughly convinced and compelled I would not take part in them. I am vaguely concerned what people think of me, to my own shame, but I do not let them influence my decisions.

I find that things usually used to describe people, for example-their favorite color, don’t really describe the person very well at all. It's just a list people compile of minor likes and dislike that they can use to pretend to describe the kind of person that they really are without much work. It doesn't take a long examination in the mirror to decide what your favorite color is. Mine is yellow because it is cheery to look at and nothing more.

In actually describing me, I would like to consider myself scientifically, politically, philosophically, biblically and religiously savvy. That may not be true to the furthest extent. I'm a Renaissance man, a Jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. When I see a problem I need to solve it. I like to volunteer for jobs that I don’t know how to do so that I can learn. Experience is the best teacher.

Conflict draws me. I've been in several fights, always physical, never verbal. I’m not a violent person; I fight to learn how to protect myself and those I love and because I am a boy filled with testosterone. It's my opinion that no boy should grow into a man without being in at least one fight. Pain, in many instances, breeds strength and character. I've lost nearly every real fight I’ve been in. It requires a level of insanity to be able to be able to bash another human’s face in, a level, which I gladly admit to never achieving. I only win in play fighting, wrestling with my brothers and friends, which I'm good at. As I have grown older I have mellowed more still and I find hand to hand combat more and more trivial, though I strive to perfect my speed and reflexes to build myself into a stronger person. Now my release, my masculine warfare, is named airsoft. It is much like paintball but cleaner and more strategic. I play on a team using tactics to claim victory over my mock opponents. At the end of the day though I prefer to have fairly lost a few games so my enemies can claim an equal portion of victory and aren't driven to bitterness by a game.

I have an artist’s demeanor. I'm good with a pencil. I draw excellent portraits. Unfortunately I'm not so good with colors so all my pictures are in black and white. I keep a blog. I write my political opinions, my tangent filled rants and my scatterbrained poetry. I play the violin and the piano. I've done both since I was very young; I'm fairly decent at either but significantly out of practice. I memorize poetry, and recite it to myself. I sing opera in the shower and at work.

My head is in the clouds. I'm easily distracted and I'm socially inept. I don’t know what’s mine and what’s not. I play with things on the wrong side of counters in professional establishments. I don’t know where to stop when it comes to little things, or why I should’ve stopped.

Despite my eccentric personality traits, I’m a relatively stable person. I'm truthful, but not dependable due to my short-term memory loss. I'm loyal to those I care about, and make it evident that I'll be useless to those that I don’t. I’m incredibly frank and I call it like it is. I don’t mind telling people things they don’t want to hear but try my best not to be rude to nice people.

Drawings

2010-02-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

The Decay of The Lover

2010-01-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

The decay of the lovers. a phrase I think every time two googly eyed undetatchable sublunary lovers walk into my work at burgerking. why here? of all places, why here? burgerking isn't romantic. burgerking isn't like the night in the rain, or the snow. all in scarves and woollen mittens they are removing themselves from something beautiful: to eat. to gorge themselves. its disgusting; but yes my friends- even lovers need to eat. their short life span is only temporarily lengthened by the food we can only just call *poor* sustenance. the commercialised slut of a burger- with its grease and fat, in all its infamous glory- should not be the food of something so beautiful, so tender, as the foolish lover.

pretty in pornography: Levi the poet

2009-11-24T11:23:00.001-08:00

Pretty in Pornography-by Levi the poet
When she finds the magazines underneath her husband's side of the bed,
she'll stand naked in front of the mirror for hours (... well what did you expect?)
"Bang dumb blondes, sexy singles and busty brunettes..."
I must not be as beautiful as the advertising says...
Miss, I saw your poster recently...
I read your ad in one of Playboy's latest magazines, actually...I've fed every need that I believed photography could feed me
If you can believe me... I hate it.
You are worth so much more than my brief moment of orgasmwhen I allow my mind to deceive me.I'd like to be an open book and it's hard to admit how I take advantage of the desires God gave me...But I don't want to sugarcoat this - I feel hopeless, trapped in brokenness -
like I lost before I ever started racing... and I know as well as anybody, this is a difficult topic to be facing,and a difficult confession for me to be makingbut I'm stating that when God started the molding, shaping and creating - you were not designed to be the objects that men look at while masturbating.Baby, never forget that you were made for relating and I'm sick of failing
to realize exactly what it is that I'm saying...I apologize.It was never my intent to ruin lives, compromise, or feed these eyessomething other than what was designed.I apologize.It was never my desire to downsize or objectify the beauty God designedto be wrapped tight until its proper time...Sometimes, though... I feed my indecency....
Kind of slide that magazine across the counter and do it quietly:
shy my face away so that no one else can see...
"Will that be all for you today, sir?""Yes ma'am, I'd like to pay to become the opposite of what I want to be."I wish I'd have waited, dedicated to seethe experience God had planned for me from the beginning.
I am not patient enough to not give in
to every sin forbidden to the hearts of men... Since when am I patient enough to not give in?I just apologized five minutes ago!God! come on! what's going on? I'm sick of this!SOMEBODY PUT SOME CLOTHES ON - YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!God's most beautiful creation and
I'm sitting here euphoric like I have the right to destroy itjust cause I don't have enough dedication to build a relationship with the one who can free me, so I resort to suffocation of my very foundationswhile claiming that I'm striving to meet the expectations of purity?Jesus keep reassuring me,I'm yearning to be the entity that you desire me to beJesus keep reassuring her,the one in the centerfold, the picture I'll remember until I grow oldShe is human; she is human,she is bought and sold to a million empty souls feeling so hopelessthat they'll try anything to fill the hole.I apologize.Please believe it's true.
I never meant to hurt you.

take heart, before its broken. its worth it.

2009-08-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

the blur of emotions, the torrent of colors and fire, the base of pain it brings you closer and closer, TO ROCKS, sharp rocks. fly with me, ill take your soul, fall with me, ill make you whole- trust me, hurt you, hurt me, again, again.. again again. we dance, we fly, we twirl, we cry, we know that one day we'll be rescued and we hope even though were doing everything wrong he'll take us anyway. hell take us anyway. take heart, before its broken. its worth it. take heart, before its stolen. its worth it. look at the stars, he that made them, he she, her him.. he can throw you away like a broken peice of clay that no one would look at. it couldve been a masterpiece, but the clay didnt have the patience. so now, its more broken than when it started. cast into the fire because it wasnt good enough. because when the mason took it up and knew it wasnt good enough, he took it with him, just so it could lie desolate in the fireplace, with the ash. the ash. ash. embers. coal. wood fire. souls dancing. flames licking. wet kisses. worth nothing. WHY DID HE PICK UP THE CLAY WHEN HE KNEW HE WOULDNT USE IT? so we break it, we break us. we are so broken. because, we dont want to be anything
else
at all
lost and so confused
wheres the help?
fly away, fall away, till were dashed on the rocks. lets just sit on the rocks and have a picnic instead. that way we wont have as far to fall and it wont hurt if we do.

10/6

2009-04-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

What if what I say, and do, doesn’t make any sense? WELL, OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE TO ME, but that doesn’t mean it does to you. I imagine I wouldn’t be quite as silly as the mad hatter. Seeing as I'm not as witty as the character in a book who knows exactly what to say in response to everything, because in reality he is carrying on the conversation with his own self, who has in reality been the author the entire time. In fact, I think my prattling would be more boring than silly if the reader isn’t able to relate. There is a very dangerous line, which I have seen others cross, differentiating a clever banter from a dull monologue. Can I be understood, or am I talking to myself?

Separation of Church and State

2009-03-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

The term 'separation of church and state' is a righteous term with biblical backup. It is a term that has been so twisted by deist bureaucrats to mean something completely apart and against its original and intended purpose that it is highly misunderstood by the common man as to be a term making ours a secular nation.

To truly understand the meaning behind these veiled words you must understand the history behind them and the poison that has gotten mixed up with them. During the period that led to the reformation the church and the state were one body corrupted to engage in the same causes. the king had the last say in what consisted of appropriate material for the church to preach (things that did not conflict with whatever his personal motives were) and often times engaged in punishing those who disagreed with the monarchy's church doctrine (who he had to appease in order to gain favor, due to politics). During the reformation the overwhelming public desire was to escape the corrupt system in which they were so entangled and return to God true will, when North America was discovered it seemed the perfect opportunity. As the eastern shore of our country began to colonize it was comprised primarily of such idealists so a revolution was begun. As our constitution was written out, and then later the first twelve amendments were added there was a shared resolution between our founding fathers that they would not, could not, let America become the exact thing that they had worked so hard to become free from. Make no mistake, our founders were not agnostics; atheists; and deists, they were strong Christians determined to do the will of God.

The first amendment (regarding religion): "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." The intended purpose of these words is not to remove God from government, but to ensure that the establishment of religion will never again be twisted in such a way that God's message will be lost in the tangle of politics.

There was an intent in the beginning, however, that should not be lost. God should not be separated from politics, in fact he should rule over them, as well as every other part of your life. It is the government’s job to enforce His ethical justice and His righteous law. It is the Church's job to spread Gods grace and educate about his goodness and mercy as well as theology and doctrine. Church and state should not be intertwined, but God should rule over both of them.

A VALEDICTION FORBIDDING MOURNING. -by John Donne

2009-03-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

AS virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."
So let us melt, and make no noise, 5
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ; 10
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove 15
The thing which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so 25
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, 35
And makes me end where I begun.

'The Picture of Dorian Gray'

2009-02-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

"I can’t stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something quite unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect."

The science of society, The Art of living, Portrayed in colors so vivid it makes me want to do something grand. It makes me want to live. It makes me want to release myself to my passions, my lusts, my desires. I want to do anything and everything just to live. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to live? Romantic even…

Still there is something not quite right about releasing yourself. There is an all important balance between living in the moment and guarding your future against the moment that must be attained to if you truly want to live.

The Greed of man is sensational and insatiable. The voracious appetite of man for earthly passions would never become quenched if not for the repercussions of our actions. It would devastate and decay the soul till there was nothing left but a blackened lump of hatred and other equally distasteful sins.

Egad!

2008-12-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

love me, love me, never leave me.